2. Do You Hear What I Hear?

Have you ever REALLY paid attention to the lyrics of the Christmas songs constantly wafting to your cold ears this time of year? Molly Cox, a fellow professional speaker and very funny friend, got me thinking about this when she pointed out the Christmas classic where it says, "A Child, a Child; Shivers in the cold; Let us bring Him silver and gold (repeat)". She wondered, "Why don't they just bring the kid a blanket?"

I laughed at the absurdity and then realized that it's the shepherd boy that says to the mighty king, "Let us bring him silver and gold," as if the shepherd boy has a load of silver and gold to throw in on the gift. So, how does the mighty king in his palace warm respond? Does he tell the shepherd boy to cough up a warm wool blanket instead? Nope.

Does he shell out silver and gold himself? Nope. The king says, "Listen to what I say! Pray for peace, people ev'rywhere."

He doesn't do a dang thing himself. Instead, he asks everybody else to pray for something noble. But even if the prayer is answered, the poor baby is still left to chill out in the cold, but now peaceful, world.

Then there is that ditty about the Twelve Days of Christmas. I don't know what it's like where you live, but retailers around here promote Christmas for about twelve weeks leading up to December 25. But on the second day of Christmas the lights and tinsel are stripped away and they redecorate with pink hearts to start marketing Valentines Day chocolates. The radio stations won't even play The Twelve Days of Christmas after the fist day of Christmas. They return to their regular programming until mid-August when they begin spinning holiday tunes once more.

Consider the gifts described in that painfully long, repetitious song. Other than the five gold rings, all my true love is sending to me are fowl and slaves. I'm getting swans, geese, calling birds (whatever they are), hens, a couple doves, and scrawny little partridge stuck up in a tree. And then my true love sends me no less than fifty, count 'em, fifty slaves: drummers, pipers, lords and ladies, and some maids. Who needs twelve drummers anyway? I'm a drummer myself but anything more than a couple drummers at the same time elicits pain. A dozen drummers drumming would cause your ears to bleed. I'd want to trade off the eleven piper slaves for a butler, chauffer, pool guy or at least one slave to shovel the Christmas snow.

Have you contemplated the song that says, "When the dog bites; When the bee stings; When I'm feeling sad; I simply remember my favorite things"? And what are the favorite things? "Raindrops on roses and ... Brown paper packages tied up with strings." This is a Christmas song? To some people, apparently, nothing says Christmas like bloody animal maulings, painful insect venom, sadness, rain, and - get this - packages delivered in a plain brown wrapper.

I guess I should be wishing you and yours a sad, rainy, bloody, painful holiday. Call me old fashioned but instead I wish you a truly wonderful Christmas lasting twelve days or more and a very happy, prosperous New Year!


If you want Randall Munson to deliver one of his powerful, award-winning presentations at your event, contact him now.


3. Humor 101 Book Release

We've released another new book: Humor 101. This is the first of three new humor books with Randall's famous sense of humor. Those who have seen Randall Munson's hilarious presentations have asked him to capture his humor in book form. You can now a have a piece of his humor and insights for yourself and to share with others.

"You want funny? Start here! This book is a secret look inside the brain of a very funny guy. It's like having your own clown - it just looks like a book."
Trevor Perry, author of Never Iron When You Are Naked

Order your autographed copies today.